HOME IS WHERE YOUR MOM IS ~ hopefully!

I saw this great saying on Pinterest the other day and it got me thinking. Thinking of my mom, her mom, my friends’ moms growing up, my friends who are moms, and of course me as a mom.

BUT my first thought was …. DARN! This should be the name of my blog!

What a huge responsibility we have as moms. H.U.G.E.

My mom, who I have spoken about before in my blog, was many things to me growing up. She lost the love of her life when she was just 44 years old.

She had to be mother and father to her four kids. She was a stay at home mom who never learned to drive. After my father died, she collapsed under the pressure. She always drank but it increased immensely. She had to get a job, learn to drive, and deal with all the burdens of a 12, 13, 16, and 18 year old. Can you imagine 4 teenagers in the same house. YIKES!

(I’m the one with the lollipop in my hand. That’s why I’m so “sweet”.)

About a year later, after intense therapy, my mom came out of her hell and tried her best to be a good mom during the next six years until we all moved out.

My mom and I weren’t close while I was growing up. But when I went away to college our relationship changed. We talked more as friends than parent to child. I started to really enjoy our relationship.

She was a very “hands-off” parent. She would give advice only if asked. She made us buy our own first car, pay for college on our own, pay room and board if we lived at home and were not full-time students. She taught us to be responsible.

I saw a new side of her as the grandkids started coming. She adored being a grandmother! She would play with the babies, talk to the kids, play cards with the older kids. She was quite the poker player! I always remember her sitting by her pool with a cigarette in one hand, a coffee cup in the other, laughing as all the grandkids would be swimming.

When Son #2 was selling magazines for his middle school, he called Nana. She always renewed her TV Guide subscription from the kids. The first time he called, there was no answer. Not weird. The second time he called, no answer. Kinda weird. The next morning when I didn’t hear from her, my heart started beating a little harder. I called her one more time with no answer.

We believe she passed away the day before. She was 73 years old. I lost my best friend. The one person in the world that made me feel like I could do anything!

My mom made mistakes. We all do. But I want my kids to want to say, “My mom made me feel like I could do anything!”

I’ve known some wonderful mothers. Mothers who don’t hesitate to discipline and hug their kids all in the same second. Mothers who teach, play, worry, cry, laugh, sing, read, pray over their kids.

As mothers we do everything. And sometimes we do nothing. I think that’s the hardest time of all. Watching our kids make mistakes, fix their own problems, cry themselves to sleep, hurt for a broken relationship, clean up their “messes”.

Right now I’m in every stage except diapers. And trust me, I’ve been there, done that! I have a 21 year old who has come back home after living at school for three years. Very hard transition. I’m trying to copy my mom with the “hands-off” approach until asked for help. I have an 18 year old in his first year of college three hours away. I miss his face. I pray a lot for him. I have a 15 year old sophomore in high school. I’m keeping him close yet letting him fly sometimes. I have a 12 year old who loves to talk to his mom. I treasure those moments. I have an 8 year old who thinks she’s 20. The reins are very short. And last but definitely not least, I have a 7 year old who sometimes acts like a 3 year old. Trying to teach independence while holding on tight to her childlike heart.

Motherhood has many stages, many faces, many tears (happy and heartbreaking), many ecstatic moments.

I stay on my knees every day and pray that God will be pleased with my decisions. Sometimes, I know He’s up there shaking His head and sometimes He’s weeping with me, and always He’s cheering me on. I know I can’t do it without Him. He has entrusted these six beautiful children to me and the LOML and we’re going to do our best to please Him. I know He thinks I can do anything!!