The LOML (Love Of My Life) and I have been
married for 35 years,
birthed 4 children,
adopted 2 children,
lived in 2 states,
owned 3 houses,
rented 2 apartments,
completed 5,098,765 home projects,
enjoyed 20 years of elementary school and being room mom,
6 high school graduations,
5 college orientations,
100’s of piano lessons,
250 band concerts, and
1000’s of sports games.
Our life together has been wonderful and tough and exciting and dull and busy and monotonous and I wouldn’t change a thing. Everything we have gone through has taught us something. Parenting has humbled us more than we could have ever imagined.
A few weeks ago, we brought our youngest daughter to college for her freshman year. After 4 other freshman drop-offs, it doesn’t get easier. Each child handled the stress and the excitement differently so we had to handle each of them differently. One wanted hugs from their crying parents, one looked us at like we were crazy while we were crying, one was so rushed that the separation was unexpected and the crying didn’t come until the drive home. This last one was teary on both sides. I felt like we had to rip the bandaid off quickly or she would have been happy for us to stay all night. She has such a big heart and she’s also the baby of the family so she’s sensitive to situations and everyone else’s feelings.
This is her right before we left. The tears broke my heart!
When we arrived home, as I did with every child who left home, I stood in her bedroom and just experienced the sad heart, great memories and everything in her room that represents her at different stages of her life.
Stuffed animals, blankets, drawings, and all the hanging pictures of her with her siblings.
I ended up cleaning up her room and throwing away all the crap. The cleansing really does help me move on.
To be honest, empty nesting is a two edged sword. You teach your children not to need you but you also want them….to need you! I miss the noise, the conversation, the piano/violin/guitar playing. I miss watching shows/movies that the kids have picked to watch. I miss cleaning up socks and shoes and doing two loads of laundry a day (believe it or not!).
Our lives are different now. The LOML and I are enjoying more dates to restaurants we love. We just went to see “Frozen” the play.
We did all the yardwork by ourselves for the first time. We’re both really sore! We’ve been to the beach for a weekend alone.
We’re getting used to the quiet, having interesting conversations just the two of us. Since the weather has gotten a little cooler, we walk and plan to play pickle ball with other empty nesters. Maybe some double dates in our future.
We talk to our freshman daughter a lot and she’s been home three times so I get my fill of being a mama and we look forward to Wednesdays for dinner with a couple of the boys every week. Our love tanks are full.
Our life is different and wonderful and slower and quieter and we will look forward to leaving our comfort zone of what we had as our thirty years of raising kids and branch out to a life that is different but wonderful and exciting!
If you are in the middle of changing diapers and napping and parent/teacher conferences and preschool/kindergarten/elementary school/middle school/high school graduations……….
DON’T BLINK!!!!!
…..because it will fly by. It doesn’t seem like it now but you will come out the other end alive and feeling kinda sad that it’s all over. Enjoy every minute!!!
Love y’all,
Linda
