“Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.” –Unknown
As a child, we constantly fight for independence from the people who we can’t live without. Those same people who gave us life, fed, clothed, housed, loved, taught, and disciplined us are controlling to us as little people. Tantrums, lies, stealth, disrespect are our only actions to fight against the deep love our parents are trying to generously bestow on us.
Becoming a parent shows us the other side. Being a parent has been the most important and treasured job I will have ever done in my lifetime. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions between your heart melting just looking into the eyes of the little human that grew inside of you all the way to a stare down between you and your stubborn teenager fighting for independence from a nagging mother.
The LOML’s parents live in a beautiful assisted living community in Georgia and we went to visit them last weekend for my father-in-law’s 92nd birthday.
I caught this picture when my FIL was getting ready to go out to dinner with us.
As he was putting his shoes on and struggling to button his sleeves as his hands shook, he said to my husband, “It’s not good to live so long. It’s not fun. Everything I do is so slow. Everything is a struggle. I hope Jesus comes soon.” The LOML looked at me with tears in his eyes.
When we’re young, our parents are our superheroes. They’re smart and caring and helpful while we’re learning the many skills that help us survive childhood. They know what we need before we ask and know what buttons to push to get us to succeed.
Watching our superheroes age can be heartbreaking. I, personally, did not experience this. My father passed away at the young age of 47. My mother raised four kids, worked full time and made dinner every night. When she retired from her job, she began to stay home more than usual but she never lost a step when it came to her mind. She was always as smart as a whip. Because she smoked a pack a day since she was 14 years old, she did slow down and breathe a lot harder with little exertion. When we built the house we’re living in now, we had a room built downstairs with a full bath so she could come live with us when she couldn’t live alone anymore. She never even got to see the house because she passed away in 2006 at the age of 73. She died exactly the way she wanted to…..in the same house that my father and brother, her oldest son, died. She didn’t want to be a burden on any of us and she never was. I hope she knew she would never have been a burden and that she was my superhero!
Watching the LOML go through experiencing his parents age is heartbreaking! His family is not great at communication (what family is?) but I can tell he wants to talk to his father so bad but he’s very hard of hearing so it’s a struggle. There’s many things he wants to say to his superhero! Every time the LOML sees his parents, he thinks it may be the last time so the goodbye is very emotional for all of them.
When we become parents, all our energy is put into helping our kids be safe. We button their jackets when it’s cold. We teach them to tie their shoes. As our children become more independent, we still watch and help when needed. Then they move out and we worry that we’ve taught them everything they need to succeed on their own.
Watching my in-laws now, they have transitioned from taking care of children, then grandchildren, and now to taking care of each other. They are constantly looking out for one another; zipping jackets, wiping faces, finding lost keys. It’s life full circle. And it’s beautiful to watch! I hope my in-laws know that they are the LOML’s superheroes.
Thank you for coming by my little corner of the world!
We have sold our house, bought a new house and we’re moving in two weeks!! I can’t wait to share some pictures of our new place!
Come back soon!!
Love y’all,
Linda
